Here Are My Thoughts

READ: Proverbs 26

“Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.” (Proverbs 26:4-5)

Read the verses above again. No, you didn’t read it wrong. In verse 4, Solomon says that you should not answer a fool when he is being foolish, or you will be foolish too. And in the very next sentence, verse 5, he says the exact opposite-that you should answer a fool when he’s being foolish so he knows that he’s foolish.

What in the world are we supposed to do with that? Isn’t Proverbs supposed to be practical and helpful? This is the opposite! If I follow verse 4, I’m defying verse 5, and vice versa! What in the world is Solomon saying here?

I think he’s telling us that wisdom is circumstantial. That sometimes, the situation dictates what is wise and what is not. Now, this isn’t a hard and fast rule-there are some things that are simply wise all the time, just as there are decisions that are 100% foolish 100% of the time.

Which is why I think the context is really important when it comes to Proverbs 26:4-5. Solomon is referring to personal interactions, particularly with those who are acting foolish. Foolishness in conversation or interaction takes on a lot of forms-unwillingness to listen or understand, bigoted or inappropriate language, lying and dishonesty, and aggressive body language and tone, to name a few. In giving us two diametrically opposed statements, Solomon actually gives us two helpful ways to deal with fools.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is get out of a conversation with a fool as quickly as possible. Let them feel like they “win” by refusing to refute the nonsense they’re spouting off, don’t let their words, tone, or demeanor rile you up, and remain calm. If anyone is watching the interaction, they’ll be able to tell who the foolish one is (hint: it won’t be you). It is very wise to avoid arguing with a brick wall of a fool.

But then, sometimes, you have to step into what is uncomfortable and possibly inflammatory. Sometimes, you can’t avoid the conversation or do whatever it takes to end it-because sometimes, fools need correction. Notice that Solomon says that we should answer fools according to their folly not so that we look wise, but so that they realize that they are not. It’s only through that realization that they are incorrect, that their worldview is wrong, that a fool can start to become wise. The first step to solving a problem is recognizing there is one, and sometimes, God will use a conversation or interaction to humble a person and show them just how far they still have to go. I know He’s done that in my life on many occasions. It is very wise to gently rebuke and enlighten a fool. 

So how do we know which way we’re supposed to respond to a fool? The truth is, we don’t. But I believe that if we are wise, we will be able to discern, in the moment, whether or not we should answer the fool. We probably won’t always get it right. But failure is a part of learning and growth. And remember, if you want to be wise enough to handle these interactions in the right way, all you have to do is ask.

-Brett