Here Are My Thoughts

READ: Proverbs 28

“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13)

A pretty straightforward question to ask you today: Do you have anyone in your life who knows your crap? 

I’m not talking about the circumstances of your life, or the things that have you stressed or worried (though I hope you have people you can share that with). I’m talking about your sin. Your shadow side, as I call it. The stuff that nobody knows about you, because if they did, you feel like they’d look at you differently. Those actions, words, and choices in your past and present that you’re ashamed of. That haunt you. Those things you can’t believe that you did, that you never thought you would do. Does anyone in your life know that stuff? 

I ask that today because if you don’t have anyone in your life that you can confide in and confess to, if you don’t have someone who knows everything……you’re never going to totally get to where you could, spiritually and emotionally speaking. What is stated in Proverbs 28:13 so clearly is so true-if you hide your sins (transgressions), you won’t thrive. BUT, if you confess them and forsake them, you’ll find mercy and healing. Easy enough to understand, but how do we confess? What does it look like? Why is it so important?

Confession is kind of a churchy word. Often when we hear the word, we think of the practice used heavily in the Catholic church, where a person can come to the church building and spill their guts to the priest. In return, the priest, by duty, is forbidden from disclosing the confessions to anyone else (this is called the Seal of the Confessional).

And if there are any Catholic friends reading this, I hope you don’t take offense-but I think “confession” in the sense described above misses the mark just a little bit. Confession is best in the context of relationship. Wisdom is best offered by someone who knows you, and can apply it to your life-which is crucial in the aftermath of a confession. But along with wisdom, grace is needed. I can tell you from experience-after looking someone in the eye and confessing something shameful you’ve kept hidden, there is no more relieving feeling than knowing that person still loves you. That’s grace. Confession is best in the context of relationship because a person who loves and knows you is able to help you realize the severity of your sin, but also remind you of the mercy that God has granted you in the midst of it. 

So that’s the simple, yet difficult challenge for you: If you don’t already have someone you can confess to, find someone. Someone you trust. Someone who is wise. Someone who follows Jesus. Someone who loves you. Someone who recognizes their own need for grace. I have two people who I confess things to: My best friend David, and my brother Seth. Both know the worst of me, have seen my broken over my sin, and have met me with mercy and reminded me of the truth of the Gospel. In turn, I do the same for them. It’s not an easy thing, and it doesn’t necessarily get easier the more you do it. But it’s absolutely necessary if you’re serious about following Jesus.

As I conclude this post, I want to leave you with two thoughts as to why you should be willing to confess your sins, not just to God (He already knows them), but to another person. Neither of these thoughts are original to me, and are two of the most powerful and compelling statements I’ve ever heard about the need for confession.

1. “If you’re 99% known, your unknown.”

Matt Chandler said those words during his message at Passion 2019. Their truth hit me like a ton of bricks. How often do we reveal just enough to seem like we’re being open? How often do we speak in generalities rather than getting to the heart of the matter? A mom is willing to share that she gets angry sometimes, but she’s not always willing to share the shame she feels for hitting her kid. A college student is willing to admit he struggles with lust, but not willing to admit he’s addicted to pornography.

Trust me, that doesn’t remove the shame. Identifying with common sin struggles isn’t true confession-it’s just a cheap appeasement that never frees you from anything. It’s being 99% known, when the 1% is what is eating away at your heart. That’s what this verse and post are all about-finding someone who knows you 100%. That’s when you stop concealing your transgressions and receive mercy, which leads to the second thought…

2. “It’s only when you stop hiding that you start healing.”

I’m sure that at least a few of you reading this are carrying something around in your heart that is just devouring you. A decision you made, something you did or said, that you couldn’t believe you did or said. It brings you shame, and it weighs you down. You suppress it most of the time, but it always seems to make its way back into your mind. You’re terrified of anyone ever finding out about it. This secret wears you out, damages your relationships, robs your joy, and throws a roadblock up to intimacy with God.

I can speak with clarity on this feeling because I’ve had it. I’ve been there. But when the last thing you want to do is share your secret, you need to share your secret. Confess your sin. Ask someone to pray for you, to hold you accountable, so that you can move forward and away from your unwise choice. You can’t die to a sin you’re still holding on to. The only way to kill darkness is by bringing it to light. If you’re reading this, there’s at least some part of you that wants to grow, to find hope and healing. In order to do that, you have to stop hiding.

I want you to know I’m praying for you as I write this, whoever you are. That you either have or develop a relationship that is safe enough for you to confess to. A person who offers you grace in the midst of your failure, and reminds you of the ultimate forgiveness found in Christ. I’m praying that you would take the brave and bold step, to go from being 99% known to 100% known. To stop hiding, and start healing. It’s so important that you do, because you’ll never be able to experience full and abundant relationship with your Savior Jesus without it. And more than anything else, that’s what I want for you.

-Brett

P.S. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, please feel free to reach out to me. I’m always available to listen and help, or connect you with someone who can.