Here Are My Thoughts

READ: Proverbs 29

“A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” (Proverbs 29:11)

“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (Proverbs 29:20)

I highlighted two verses in this post today because I don’t think you can talk about one without talking about the other. The way I see it, verse 20 gives visual representation of the warning of verse 11. In other words, giving “full vent to his spirit” usually plays out as someone who “is hasty in his words”.

Why is this a big deal? Because we shouldn’t desire to look or be foolish. You know how unappealing and frustrating it is, if you’ve ever been in a conversation with someone who gives full vent to their spirit. They don’t listen, they interrupt frequently, they’re easily triggered and seem to have no self-control. They just say whatever comes to mind, whether it’s helpful and appropriate, or not.

I have all the personality types of a person susceptible to doing what these verses warn against (I’m a high-D in DISC, an ENTJ in Myers Briggs, and a 3 on the Enneagram). I have plenty of experience with putting my foot in my mouth because I couldn’t stop myself from saying what I thought without thinking. Through my words and body language, I’ve given full vent to my spirit so many times. I’m just telling you from experience, it’s nothing but embarrassing. It doesn’t make me a better leader, if anything, it only harms my influence. For some reason, many people who are hasty with their words, who say whatever comes to mind, seem to wear it as a badge of honor. Like they’re somehow brave or heroic for blurting out whatever they feel like with absolutely no regard for anyone else. I can assure you, that isn’t the case at all. They’re just foolish. There’s a difference between being honest and open and giving full vent to your spirit. You can be a person who says what needs to be said without being an out-of-control jerk (which is how most people who are hasty with their words come across). 

You should care about how you come across when interacting with others. Not in a “I need to make myself look good” way, but in a “I want to show this person honor and value” way. The fact of the matter is, if you give full vent to your spirit, you care only for your own opinions and feelings, and show no concern for the opinions and feelings of others. That may sound harsh, but at the very least, that’s exactly how you will come across. You won’t be able to influence anyone you can’t value, and you can’t show value if you speak without thinking and without regard. Measure your words. Ask yourself if what you want to say is helpful. Try to listen more than you speak (I’m working on it!) Realize that everyone is created in the image of God, and therefore is worth valuing in interactions.

James, the brother of Jesus, summed it up this way: “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger”. In other words-don’t give full vent to your spirit. Don’t be hasty with your words. Don’t be a fool.

You’ll be amazed at how much better your personal interactions go.

-Brett